The Goose Chase
Admiral
the bear was lumbering through the forest, thinking about
supper, when he spied a goose sleeping on the bank of the
pond. “That goose will be a tasty snack,” he
told himself, “if I can just catch it.” He marched
towards the water.
A bear walking through the woods makes a considerable amount of noise, enough to scare almost any bird. But Gaylord was not the wisest goose in the world.
“I’ve never known trees to make so much fuss,” Gaylord muttered, settling his head a bit further forwards. This stretched his neck nicely, so all Admiral had to do was reach down and grab the handle.
Gaylord was startled and confused by this turn of events. By the time he realized he had been picked up by a hungry bear, Admiral had already turned and headed back to his cave.
“Let me go!” squawked the goose.
“I’ll let you go into my oven,” Admiral said. “Just be patient.”
Gaylord didn’t need to be terribly clever to realize that his name was going to be Supper. He twisted his head to look into the bear’s face. “But I’m a . . . a magic wishing goose. I can grant you all kinds of wishes!”
Admiral thought this over and nodded. “Why don’t we test that?” he said. “I wish you’d be replaced by a goose that I can have for my supper.” He smacked his lips. “Well, what do you know? It worked!”
“What worked?” the goose demanded.
Admiral patted Gaylord’s head. “That noisy goose is gone, and here you are instead.”
Gaylord thought hard for a moment. “But . . . but that proves that I’m a magic goose, right? And, as everyone knows, magic geese are poison.”
“Not to magic bears,” said Admiral with some firmness.
Gaylord pondered this. “Are you a magic bear?” he asked.
Admiral stepped over a stump. “Well, I’m not sure. If I eat you and you turn out to be poison, then I guess I’m not.”
“Well,
now, that’s logical.” Gaylord relaxed against
Admiral’s arm for a few seconds before he realized
that a test like that wouldn’t do him any good.
“But . . . but . . . besides,” he sputtered,
“I’m a magic treasure-hunting goose. I can guide
you to all kinds of treasure!”
“Guide me, then,” Admiral said, kicking a log out of his way.
Gaylord swung his head right and left. “Well, um, you need to go east from that tree over there.”
Admiral walked up to the tree but did not turn. “Sorry,” he said. “That treasure isn’t on the way to my kitchen.”
“Did I say east?” Gaylord asked. “I meant to say west.”
“Actually,” Admiral told him, “I’m heading north.”
“Well, wait. Just wait.” Gaylord twisted his neck around. “It’s so hard to tell which direction is which when you’re holding me so tightly. I meant north, of course.”
“How
fortunate. And where is this treasure?” Admiral looked
into the treetops.
“It’s, um, not up there,” Gaylord said.
“It’s buried. Buried is what it is. Down in
the roots. If you put me down, I can show you which root
to dig under.”
“I have very large paws.” Admiral raised one of them, letting the claws show. “I can dig under several roots at once. Why don’t you just show me the tree?”
“Um.” Gaylord looked around, wondering what a tree with treasure buried under it would look like. “Oh, it’s, er, a tree that is just exactly as tall as a bear with both paws stretched over his head.”
“Is it?” Admiral paused and checked the forest around them. “So all I have to do now is find a bear.”
“But
you’re a bear,” snapped Gaylord.
“Oh yes. Yes, of course.” Admiral studied the trees. “Now I suppose the treasure couldn’t be buried under a tree that’s as tall as a bear with only one paw raised above his head.”
Gaylord shook his head back and forth. “Oh, they never bury treasures under trees that size.”
“I can understand that.” The bear considered the nearest trees. “Well, there’s only one thing to do,” he said.
Gaylord braced his feet so he could fly loose the second Admiral let go. But the bear didn’t let go at all.
“Awk!” Gaylord honked as Admiral lifted him high in the air.
“A tree this tall?” the bear demanded.
“I
don’t think it’s as tall as a bear with a goose
in one paw,” Gaylord gasped.
Admiral nodded. “I see your point,” he said.
“I should have eaten you first and then measured the
trees.”
Suddenly the goose began squawking and flapping and kicking. He broke loose, flying away as fast as he could. Unfortunately, with so much kicking and honking to think about, he never thought to watch where he was going. He hit an old tree headfirst and dropped to the forest floor.
“If you knew which tree it was,” said Admiral, bending to pick up Gaylord, “why didn’t you just tell me instead of making me do all that measuring?”
Admiral stopped to listen. The tree was buzzing.
Admiral raised the goose and looked into his eyes. “Well, what do you know?” Admiral said. “You did find a treasure for me.”
“I have a headache,” Gaylord muttered.
“I’m going to eat this honey first,” Admiral said, “and eat goose afterwards. Just sit over here. When I’ve finished with the honey, you can help me pluck your feathers. That job always goes faster with an extra set of fingers.”
Admiral put Gaylord on a rock and broke away a little of the tree. He ate the honey rapidly while the bees buzzed around him.
Admiral smiled as he thought about the tricks Gaylord had tried to play. He looked over his shoulder twice and saw Gaylord waiting patiently on the rock. The third time, however, Gaylord had jumped down and was noisily sneaking away.
“Does that bear think I’m stupid?” Gaylord muttered to himself. “I don’t even have fingers.”
Admiral grunted and went on eating the honey.
