How I Survived a Valentine Mishap

Dear Arizona,
   My class is exchanging homemade valentines tomorrow, but I know mine will be the worst. Should I
   a) stay home for Valentine’s Day?
   b) say I forgot to bring in my valentines?
   c) hand out my terrible valentines and be embarrassed forever?
   — Very Bad Valentine Maker in Virginia

Dear Very Bad Valentine Maker,
   Right away, I can tell you I’d pick c. Well, the first half of c anyway: the handing-out-valentines part, not the embarrassed-forever part! If you’ve read my letters before, you know that I’m pretty much the world’s leading expert on embarrassment. And, sadly for me, last Valentine’s Day was no exception.

It all started on a cozy February night when my whole family was having a valentine-making extravaganza.

“Look at all this great stuff!” said my mom. “Construction paper, heart stickers, stencils, and fancy fluorescent markers!”

“I get the stickers!” said my little brother, Tex.

“No, I do!” said my sister, Indi.

“No, I do!” joked my dad.

“There are more than enough stickers for everybody,” my mom said, laughing.

And believe me, she wasn’t kidding. Part of the reason she’d bought so many art supplies is because, in addition to making valentines for school, we were making a bunch to give to the kids at the homeless shelter where my mom volunteers.

“I’m going to make a really special one for my teacher,” Indi said, reaching for the glitter.

“Good idea!” I said. And I decided to spend an extra-long time making the best possible card for my art teacher, Miss Caputo.

I added about a million heart stickers and wrote out a sweet message, then stuck it in an envelope and went back to making more. Of course, I tried my best to make the other valentines look good, too, but I definitely didn’t put all those extra words and stickers on them.

The next day was Valentine’s Day, and we had a class party. We munched on these heart-shaped cookies that looked cute but tasted a little like cardboard, and we opened our valentines.

There were all kinds. This one kid, Robby, who lives and breathes music, just wrote “Rock On!” really big in the middle of every card. And my good friend Mareya Becker put adorable kitten stickers on hers and wrote “You’re purrrfect!” on the bottom of each one.

Now here’s where the very embarrassing part comes in. We were all saying thank you for our valentines, and everything was going along just fine until J.D. and I reached for the exact same cookie at the exact same time.

“Oh, sorry,” I said with a giggle.

But J.D., who’s normally the funniest, most joking-around guy I know, just stood there like a serious stone statue!

“Is everything OK?” I asked.

Well, everything was most definitely not OK! Slowly and uncomfortably, J.D. said, “Um,thanks for your valentine. It was really, um, uh, nice.”

I had no clue why J.D. was acting so strangely about my valentine. I mean, it was your basic card with a sprinkle of glitter and a sticker or two. No different from the ones I’d made for the rest of the class—right?

Wrong! When I glanced over at J.D.’s desk, I nearly died of embarrassment. And right then, Sam, who’d overheard us at the snack table, grabbed the valentine off J.D.’s desk and read it out loud to the entire class: “Happy Valentine’s Day to an amazing, fantastic, generous, fun, smart, and all-around incredible human being. I LOVE you! Arizona.”

I felt my face burn. “No! I made that one for Miss Caputo. I must have given her the one I made for J.D.”

“Aw,” said Sam. “You mean you don’t love J.D.?”

“May I please see that?” I said, taking it from Sam’s hands and putting it on my desk. I’d bring it to the art room later.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for J.D. to stop acting strangely and return to his normal, jokey self. When I was handing out math worksheets and got to J.D., he said, “Um, are you sure that’s for me, Arizona?”

We all laughed, but as you can probably understand, I didn’t stop blushing until that particular Valentine’s Day was completely over!

So, dear Very Bad Valentine Maker, here are my suggestions for you:

a) Do not stress about making your cards. I’ve said it before, but it really and truly is the thought that counts.

b) You don’t need to be artistic to make a decent valentine. Just make sure it’s not dripping with glue!

c) Most importantly, do not make one extra-special valentine, then accidentally give it to the wrong person!

Ciao for now,

Arizona