Dear Highlights Questions

Questions asked by kids like you and answered by the Highlights® Editors

Always Fighting

Always Fighting
My friend and I are always fighting. One day we fight and the next day we are friends again. Please help.

Reply from the Highlights Editors
We're glad you want to improve your relationship with your friend.

It's important for you and your friend to learn to control your tempers. The next time you think a fight is about to begin, walk away for a moment. Take a deep breath and count to ten, or higher, if necessary. Stop and think about what is happening. You may realize that you and your friend are about to fight over something unimportant.

Controlling your temper won't be easy at first. Keep trying. As you become better at it, you will spend less time fighting with your friend and will have more time to have fun together.

Sometime when you and your friend are getting along well, you may want to suggest that the two of you make a list of ways to treat each other better. You could also include in your list the reasons you fought in the past. Then, together, you could think of positive ways you could have resolved those situations.

Hopefully, your friend will follow your example of not losing your temper. However, if she continues to want to fight, there won't be much you can do about that. You have some choice in how you behave, but you can't force others to behave in a certain way. If your friend won't cooperate with your efforts to improve the situation, you may want to spend time around others, at least for a while.

We suggest you talk to your parents whenever you have friendship trouble. If you let them know the specific things that are happening, they may be able to offer other ideas to work through any problems that arise, or they may be able to help you decide whether or not to continue the friendship.

We hope this helps.

Best wishes,
The Highlights Editors