Jack: What do you call a monster with a lot of children?
Mike: I don’t know. What?
Jack: A momster!
What did the Olympic runner say to the chef?
“You’re running out of thyme.”
Julia, North Carolina
Server: How was your food?
“Butter not keep the door open. It’s cold outside.”
What did one spider ask the other spider?
“Could you connect me to the web?”